MomFails...I better stop counting.

Mom Fail=a mother falling short of expectations that might affect her kids' happiness.

I've been eating some humble pie over here.
Luckily, my kids aren't harbouring any resentment.

Halloween Costumes: Ballerina Kitty Cat and her side-kick, Squeaky Mouse

A few examples:

Halloween: Kids do not trick-or-treat here; Halloween is a relatively newly adopted North American concept. My fails were two-fold:
1. I was told kids could dress up if their teacher allowed it. Coming from a school in Canada where costumes are NOT allowed (can you imagine teaching a class full of masked and armed children?!), I wanted to play it safe. I didn't want my kids seen as "those crazy foreigners", so kept it simple.  OMG-some of the costumes rivalled Hollywood's best. Our little hairbands, mom's eye-liner whiskers and skeleton t-shirt looked pretty bah humbug...
2. I thought sending Halloween pencils to school, sourced from Canada (thanks Kelly!), would be a unique way for my kids to share their traditions. DING - wrong. They do candy at school, copious amounts, sent from parents. The pencils, at least, were novel: me - "Did they like the pencils?" Jonty - "um, yeah. But mom, only you sent in things that are not junk food". #lifeofadietitianskid

School Sanctioned Decorating: To dress up the school for seasonal celebrations, students take home a photocopied picture, and return it decorated. For November's Sao Martinho festival, the picture was a chestnut.  We coloured in one side with pencil crayons. We stayed in the lines, chose typical colours; I thought it looked nice.  Until we went to the festival and saw everyone else's...we're talking 3-D, Louvre worthy pieces here, using all sorts of materials! Some were even transformed into sewn chestnut pillows!
Come Christmas, I was better prepared, and we too went 3D, reusing materials from our recycling. But again, the effort some (grandmas?) put in, put ours to shame!

What a party! Families send in snacks, and attend from 10-noon to eat and hang out.
Mark noticed he was one of the tallest people there...a novelty for my 5'11 hubby...
See the hanging chestnuts? 

Tables upon tables of homemade cakes, cookies, pop, juice, dried figs, chestnuts, baked sweet potatoes.
Total free-for-all for everyone!

The main entrance to the school. See the chestnuts on the bannister?
Gabi's classroom is the one on the bottom left. Jonty's is up these stairs, to the left.

Birthday Celebrations: Jonty turned 9 last week. He and Gabi had come home a few times and talked about so-and-so's birthday, and how they got treats.  Back home, I usually send some sort of fruit for my kids to celebrate their birthdays at school (blame the dieititian in me who feels you don't need junk to celebrate, and that all kids can use more fruit in their lives). But I didn't want my kids to stick out this one year they are here. So I ordered some finger food dessert from the local bakery that did not require teacher support to hand out, napkins or extra dishes: Jonty's favorite, mini custard tarts.  He took them to school. At pick up, I asked how it went. He said "Mom, you were supposed to come in and deliver the treats. They didn't even sing." Oh, my heart.  It didn't help that the same day, Gabi's classmate had had a birthday.  She shared that both his parents had come into the classroom with a cake, candles, juice, cups, plates, napkins etc, and Parabens was sung. Oi.

Outside the bakery--so excited to share treats with his class

Jonty shares a birthday with my cousin Goncalo
It was a great party!

Roller Hockey Age Group: Back in September, Jonty and I went to check out the 9-11 year old team. When I spoke to the coach, I said Jonty was in grade 4. He asked how old he was, I said 8 (he is a December baby). I was told he belonged in an age group below. I was confused, but went with it. I didn't think to elaborate with his birth month; note: 3 months in, I still haven't figured out at what age kids start school here. Is it their birth year like in Canada?  September-September, like in the USA? Something else? Jonty is younger than some classmates by 1.5 years. Anyhow, long story short, it was discovered about 2 months in that Jonty is too old for the age group, and needs to move up. He is still pretty green, and the thought of leaving his friends behind to go to a more intimidating age group is, understandably, unappealing.  He is going to take the holidays to decide. Tonight he said: "I wish I had never played at all." Oh, stupid mix-up, why didn't I ask more questions?!
Sigh.

He scored two goals at his last game.

Funny we are not taking our own advice: Mark and I lived in Holland for a year, pre-kids, and we always swore, if we did move abroad again, it had to be for at least 2 years. Why? Staying 2 years allows you to figure it all out the first year, and enjoy it to the fullest the second. Back then, we would go away on weekends, come back and see the evidence that we missed some big festival/party in our town...

LOL. Undoubtedly, more MomFails to come, but we are going to be fine. :)

Why do I care that they learn Portuguese?

My kids did not speak Portuguese when they arrived here. Sure, they could understand my very basic Portuguese: "brush your teeth, eat your supper, don't hit your sister"; but anything more elaborate, or coming from a Portuguese speaker that wasn't me or my parents...questionable.

Proudly sporting their school shirts

I have been speaking Portuguese to them since they were born. Mark (not Portuguese) has been so supportive, even if at times it meant the conversation was well beyond him, or he was the butt of our little jokes. What a guy!

She got mail! On her way to daycare

Jonty always spoke it back until at age 3, he refused. My options weren't many: Pretend I didn't understand his English? Force him? Bribe him? I settled on controlling what I could control (I continued to speak it) and let go of what I could not (accept his choice to speak English). Being the eldest, about 50% of what Jonty heard at home from 0-3 years was Portuguese. For Gabi, her brother was added to the mix, so the Portuguese she heard waned to ~30% (and Jonty has always translated my words for her; curious.). With 2 siblings and dad speaking English, Catarina got even less. And then, as our kids' English language progressed, and family conversations exploded in depth and length, it was becoming more difficult for me to keep it up. And yeah, I started to get lazy--English is just easier.

Off to a Portuguese League Soccer Game with family - GO BENFICA!
Seating capacity at Estadio da Luz - 65,000

Solution? Move to a Portuguese speaking country, sign them up for Public School, and dunk them in!  I feel like I should insert a *cackle* here...? 

Our little "reindeer" is so excited because
"O Pai Natal vai chegar!" (Santa is coming!)

But here we are, 3 months later, and they are communicating in full Portuguese sentences, with the older two reading and writing it too. I am impressed at how quickly the language has come, and SO PROUD! Sure there is still lots of room for improvement, but they are farther ahead than I expected. Jonty is a bit tentative: he doesn't like making mistakes. He uses gestures and single words if he can. But he understands everything, and when he does speak, his sentences are complete and perfect. Gabi, perhaps because she is younger, speaks more confidently, without fear or awareness of mis-conjugations etc. They are both now able to order food at the cafe, chat with friends at recess and around town, make requests of the librarian, tell relatives about their week, ask other kids for the ball back at the park or beach (Gabi usually does the talking, with Jonty at her side for moral support). The best is when they translate for daddy and help him with his Portuguese homework (another shout out to my man--total trooper!). Catarina's vocabulary is about 50% Portuguese, mixing the two languages seamlessly: e.g. "I não quero go to cama" (I don't want to go to bed). Jonty loves quizing her on the feminine and masculine: "Would mommy say obrigadA or obrigadO?" (and she gets it right every time!). I don't know if she realizes she understands and speaks two different languages? She no longer calls me "mommy"--I'm "mãe" now. She is singing Christmas carols in Portuguese too--so cute!
The kids play this game in the car where, for 2 minutes, they can only speak in Portuguese. Love it.

New threads - an official Benfica soccer outfit

For me, I speak Portuguese fluently, but have an English accent.  I get lots of complements from the locals though, as they assume I am a foreigner. Growing up, only Portuguese could be spoken at home. I can still hear my mom scolding my sisters and I when she caught us speaking English. What's more, my mom home-schooled us in Portuguese on Saturday mornings, to ensure we could read and write it too. Yes, every child's dream--regular school Monday-Friday, and another half day on Saturday...
As much I resented it then, I am SO thankful for my mom's commitment--I'm sure it wasn't easy. Obrigada Mãe!

Gabi asked the make-up artist:
"Quero ser uma fada" (I want to be a fairy)

So, why do I care so much that my kids speak multiple languages? We speak English--the "international language"; do they really need anything else? Probably not. Portuguese immersion, French immersion school in Ontario--why bother? I guess its because I feel that the world is big and exciting, with so much to see, explore and learn--I believe that being able to communicate in different languages makes it a less intimidating, more accessible place. Plus--I think languages are fun! Personally, speaking 4 has provided me with opportunities to live, study and travel abroad, and like any parent who shares their skills with their kids, it's something I can and want to give to my kids. Maybe they'll use them, maybe they won't, but they'll have them in their tool kit :)

Outside the candy shop - this bunny has a suit for every occasion!

And with family scattered throughout the world (Portugal, Mozambique, Brazil, Spain, Holland...), there are friendly faces and great conversations waiting!

Maybe Dutch immersion in Holland next?!